died

well xanga obviously died a couple years ago. I still like xanga, it's a cool name and it's so easy to use. no one read it so i guess it's kinda private. School's out and there are still many things to do. I can't believe i still have deadlines and "homework." I guess life doesn't end after school.

Things to do... design t-shirts, memorize routine, work out and read the summer book. Oh yeah i hav start getting ready for my summer trip. I'm so excited. i've never been to the east coast. I wonder how different it's gonna be or at all different. It's prob. not gonna be that strange but it's still 2 weeks away from home. I love washington and all but sometimes i guess it's nice to get away.

uppers and downers.

i woke up at 2AM today. i can't go back to sleep. i'm so tired of this. i can't wait until i graduate. i won't have to worry about extra curriculars and grades or whether or not my teachers like me. i think i'm gonna like college. I haven't tasted even a bit of it but i already know i'm gonna like it. UW, stanford, yale, tufts,i don't care right now. I'm sure i'll worry about it later but right now i just wanna go.

today i tried hard, i did. i did practice problems but it didn't amount to much. I can't measure my learning in the number of problems done but rather whether i'm typing a blog at 3:00 in the morning. I don't feel satisfied today. But on the positive side I laughed today and i had fun (kinda, as much fun you can have do chemistry). I went into a suspicious car not knowing whether the transmission would fail or not. I played with my japanese wooden toy thing with the red ball. I wish i had more fun risks in life. I've had serious ones for too long.

yesterday i went trough 300 sparknotes cards on U.S history. I completely completely ignored my teacher's advice and studied freakin crazy at the library. I didn't think it wasthat bad. I was well rested, I knew the material (somewhat) and i felt comfortable during the test. Even though i was sniffing and snot was flying, i feel happy. I'll define happy later. I'll stil use it even though the meaning is vague to me. i have lots to do this weekend. chem review, art thingy, memorizing the routine, studying... i'm not looking to forward to it. I'm looking forward to the ending when i have it all done.

I've been really lucky this week. I'm so lucky that i knew what the free-response was asking. I'm so lucky that i knew how to do the proof on my math test. I'm not sure if i should be thankful that i was so lucky this week or if i should be congratulating myself on studying well. I don't care about the result of either the math or the U.S test now. I feel satisfied. I haven't felt satisfied in a long while now. I'm so lucky. The more I seem to study, the more lucky I seem to be. I should do that more often, study. Next year, i've learned my lesson and i won't be cramming notecards in the QFC, just because it's the only place open 24 hours in bellevue. Yeah

i like my updates from freshmen/sophomore year. they're nice reminders of how trivial my problems were and maybe how trivial they still are.

i'm offically overwhelmed

whelmed.